Colon Cancer

Colon cancer is the most preventable cancer there is. No one should ever die from it. Prevention is simple: get a colonoscopy! I had my first one on Monday. Even with no family history of colon cancer, everyone should be screened at age 50. If polyps (little tag-like growths inside the colon) are found, they are removed right then. The polyps are sent to pathology to determine if they are benign or precancerous. You will be told by your doctor when your colonoscopy should be repeated. If nothing is found, you're good to go for 10 years!
I think the prep is something that most people dread. Trust me: it's not that bad! Stop taking aspirin, vitamins with iron, iron supplements, and NSAIDs about a week before the test, or when your doctor recommends. Since my test was done in Roanoke (a 2+ hour drive from home), I got a hotel room for the night before. Clear liquids are required the day before the test. Anything you can see through and drink, and lots of it! You can even drink Coke! I once had a patient who asked if rum was considered a clear liquid. I told him that it was, but I wouldn't recommend it during the prep! Anway, I took 2 little pink pills (dulcolax-a potent laxative) at around noon. After the first poo, I started drinking "half-lightly". It's an odd tasting purgative. It comes with little flavor packets to make it taste better. As if! I chose the lemon-lime. Yuck! This stuff tastes like really soft water with lots of salt. I had to drink one cup every 10 minutes till it was all gone. When I got about 2/3 of the way through, I thought the bottle was magically refilling itself! It seemed like I was never going to get to the end. At that point, I was also drinking a cup and running to the bathroom. Sorry, this is gross. It really only takes about an hour and a half to finish off the bottle. If it's possible to poop your brains out, by 10pm I was a moron! This is the yucchiest part, but it needs to be explained: your poo can have color as long as no solids are present. I had everything, and I mean everything, out of my system by 11pm.
I checked in to the surgery center at 6:30 Monday morning. The nursing staff was wonderful! I changed into one of the beautiful designer backless gowns and put some blue paper booties on. The only thing of mine I got to keep on was my socks! Be sure to leave all jewelery at home! I couldn't even leave my hair clips in! The nurse who started my IV was amazing! I have the worst veins in the world and she got it in one stick! It didn't even hurt. A brief meeting with the surgeon and anesthesiologist and I was on my way. Dave walked with us to the place where he went to the waiting room and I went to the OR. I got a shot of "happy juice" and don't even remember going through the door! I do remember getting positioned on the stretcher, but then, I was out. Next thing I knew, I was being awakened on my way to recovery. I was awake about 10 minutes before I was told that I could get dressed. I was able to walk to the bathroom with no trouble at all, dressed, drank a Diet Coke, got my pictures (suitable for framing if you want!), and was ready for discharge. I was out the door at 10:30.
I had no nausea and no pain afterward. Most of the way home, in fact, most of the rest of the day, I slept. Anesthesia dreams are weird! I dreamt that Dave got mad at everyone and took a sledge hammer and busted up our toilets (must be an offshoot of the prep!), that Elliott was 6 years old and wanted to sleep in my bed like he used to (a kid who needs his Momma's hug?), and that someone was taking all my blankets...and I was COLD! I was sorta kinda awake and was aware that I was pulling on a blanket mumbling "It's mine!". Actually, it was Dave taking the small blanket Catie had made for him. He slept on the couch so he "Wouldn't bother me". Tuesday morning, life was back to normal, or as normal as it gets in my house. Mitchie is in raging heat, the dishes are dirty, and the laundry needs to be done!
So, you see, a colonoscopy is really not a big deal. It's fast, easy and painless. Besides, how often do you get the chance to show your butt and get away with it?!?

One other thing: Dave's raves (for 200, Alex!) were the result of anxiety over this stuff. I should know better by now, but I'm a slow learner! All is well at the house of Qatz!