Happy Birthday Chris

My first baby, Christopher Van, was born 27 years ago yesterday. He was due on January 20. By the 24th, I had had enough of being pregnant! It was Super Bowl Sunday. Our minister asked me when I was due. I told him that "he was due last week, but I'm going to watch the Super Bowl, then I'm having this baby!". My water broke at halftime! The 49ers were playing the Bengals. The 49ers won (I was for the Bengals!).
We checked in to the hospital at around 1am. My contractions lasted longer than the break between them. I was vomiting and in horrific pain. Dave did his best to help me. He rubbed my back and kept cool cloths on my head. I asked the nurse for pain medicine when I couldn't stand it any longer. She said "you can't have anything for pain. You're going LaMaze." She had her stethoscope draped around her neck. I took both ends of it and twisted, attempting to choke her! I said "My doctor said I could have something for pain if I wanted it. Now, you get your ass out there and get it for me or I'll take your keys and get it myself!" She brought me a shot of Demerol (no Phenergan). Not only did that make the vomiting worse, but it made me crazy! It did nothing to relieve my pain!
Chris was on a fetal monitor by this time. His heart rate began to drop. It went from the 130s to the 70s and didn't come back up. I had been a nurse long enough to know what late decelerations were and their significance. Dave rang for my nurse and told her about Chris' heart rate. She walked into the room, kicked the monitor so that I couldn't see it, and walked out of the room. It was about 5:30 in the morning. I didn't see her again.
My doctor came in at a little after 7 to check on me. When Dave told him about my relentless pain and Chris' heart rate, he left the room. I heard him giving someone "down the country" for not contacting him. I felt sorry for the nurse receiving the tongue lashing, her shift had just started. He came back into the room and explained that, after an x-ray, he would do a c-section. At that point, I was so exhausted that I told him that if he would take Chris right then, I'd let him x-ray whatever he wanted! I didn't care if someone pulled that baby out of my nose!
The x-ray tech was wonderful! She showed me the picture as soon as it was ready. Chris was in a textbook position except that his neck was hyperextended back! It was as if he wanted to see what was "outside" before he joined us! No wonder he was having late decelerations!
The anesthesiologist was a little Chinese guy. When he started to place the epidural, he said "You put your knees to chest". I told him that I hadn't seen my knees in a couple of months! Once the epidural was in, life was good! After 17 hours of labor, and only dilating 3 cm, Chris was born. Poor little guy! He looked like a cross between ET and Klingon! He was a kind of purple/gray color with a little ridge down the middle of his head! He had such a serious look on his face!
Chris was a fabulous baby. He slept for 6 hours his first night home and only cried when he was sick, which wasn't often. He was so easy that we decided we should have another one. Parenting was a piece of cake! Ignorance is bliss!