Elliott's hat

It was a beautiful, blustery fall day. Three year old Elliott was standing beside the driveway while I unloaded groceries from the car. Elliott usually wore overalls (the straps make a great handle for mom to grab) and today was no exception. He was wearing a blue baseball cap, too. Well, not really wearing it, he was throwing it up in the air and trying to catch it. The part of our yard where he was standing was next to a vacant lot that was overgrown with briers. I told Elliott to quit throwing his hat because the wind would blow it into the woods. Elliott paid me no attention. I told him again, with a little more edge to my voice, that he needed to STOP throwing his hat. After delivering another handful of grocery bags to the kitchen, I came back to the car. Elliott's hat was gone. I asked him where it was and he pointed to the woods. There was his hat, stuck fast in a clump of briers.
"Elliott!" I said in exasperation. "Now I'll have to go get it! You stand RIGHT HERE until I get your hat."
There was no way to get directly to the hat. I had to walk about 5 feet further down the driveway, then pick my way around until I got to it. I retrieved the hat and turned around to pick my way out of the woods. There, hot on my heels, was Elliott!
"ELLIOTT! I told you to stay put until I got your hat. Now you turn around and go right back the way you came!"
Elliott attempted to turn around, but was tangled in a long, wiry brier. He pulled and tugged, but could not get loose. He looked at me, his bright blue eyes as big as saucers. "Holy shit, Momma, I'm stuck!"
I put his hat over my face and turned my head. I couldn't let him see me laugh, that would only make him think that what he said was OK! When I regained my composure, I untangled him and we picked our way out of the woods.
Out of the mouths of babes..........