Aging

Sunday before last, Dave and I went to a Moody Blues concert. Since the last time we saw them, one member of the group has retired. They have replaced him. The concert was wonderful, but there was something missing. Amazing what a difference one person can make.
Our children have all grown and two of them have children of their own. I'm enjoying watching my kids deal with the same situations we did. Endless nights of no sleep, temper tantrums, throw-ups (always on the carpet!), chocolatey kisses, and warm snuggles. Because of  "birthday rules", Bryce and Abbey will be in the same grade once they start school. That will be interesting.
Pop just celebrated his 88th birthday. I can't imagine living 88 years. The Great Depression, WWII, Korea (a "conflict", not a war), Viet Nam, television, telephones (cell phones, not phones on a party line!), reel-to-reel audio tapes to 8-tracks to cassettes to CDs, Flappers to Hip Hop, Model Ts to SUVs (some even park themselves!). Pop doesn't laugh as much as he used to. I guess age and a stroke will do that to you. He hates being dependent on others for his care. He drives Bud crazy with his demands, but he just might be going crazy, himself, because he can't do things independently. He doesn't hear as well as he used to. Because of that, he doesn't talk as much as he used to. He used to have a lot to say. I guess aging takes that away from some people, too.
Ma, on the other hand, has plenty to say. As she has aged, her filter has dissolved! She's always been on the outspoken side, but she used more tact years ago. Maybe when you feel like you're running out of time, the urgency of what you need to say outweighs the need for tact. Ma just calls them like she sees them! She has suffered multiple broken bones as she has aged, the result of osteoporosis. In spite of this, she keeps on moving. She thinks nothing about climbing on a chair to get something out of a closet. The rest of us wait for the crash! Like Pop, she values the independence she has left. She has decided that she does not want to live to be 100!
Elliott has promised me that, when I am "old and crazy" (his words), he will put me in a really nice nursing home. I'm hoping, like everyone does, that I won't reach that point. Like many my age, I wonder if I'll ever have the chance to retire and do what I want. I want to travel (gas prices and the economy in general may kill that idea!), I want to sew and perfect my skills, I want to sit and knit all day once in a while. I want to chat with Dave, play with my grandkids, and do absolutely nothing if I want to!
I want a rocking chair on my front porch!

Where have I been?

Right. Where have I been? Well, I was too busy to blog for a while. Then, I forgot how to get to this site! DUH! Now that I've found it again, I will only post general stuff. No controversies, no negative opinions, and, I hope, nothing that will offend even the most sensitive of eyes.

Into each life, a little rain............

Last Saturday, Catie, Dave and I took Abbey to Elliott's house to play with Bryce. Abbey is now 6 months old, Bryce is 10 months. Bryce is learning to walk, Abbey is just barely sitting up. Abs had a pony tail on top of her head. Bryce thought it was a great handle and kept trying to grab it and pull! Abbey would squeal and Bryce would jump. Neither has ever had to share, so that was interesting. Everything one had, the other one wanted. Add a small dog and a kitten into the mix and you have a roll on the floor free for all!
As babies do, Abbey wet her diaper. Somehow, I got volunteered to change her. I laid her out on the couch and unfastened her diaper. Just as I slid it out from under her, the dam burst. She peed everywhere! There was nothing I could do to stop the flood! I even tried covering her with the dry diaper. Once the tidal wave stopped, I put a dry diaper on her. Catie had to change her clothes. My shorts were a bit soggy, too! I was so embarrassed! I apologized profusely to Sam. She brought a towel to me and I sopped up the mess. She said that Bryce had done the same thing on the couch, not to worry.
I heard later that Elliott got fussed at about the soggy couch. I feel bad about that, too. But it was funny watching Bryce toddle over to see what was going on while Abbey laughed like a fiend!

ends and beginnings and a rant, too

June 30 will be my last official day at Roanoke Memorial. I've been there nearly four years. I planned to work there until I retired. Sometimes plans don't work out. When I was hired, there was a "temporary housing" benefit. The hospital paid for a hotel room for any nurse (and some other employees)who lived more than 60 miles away. I live 120 miles from the hospital. But for the loss of this benefit, I wouldn't quit. I like what I do. I have a good group of coworkers. There are issues that I wish could be corrected, but that's true of any job.
July 5, I'll start my new job at Thomas memorial Hospital. I'll stay with Catie and Ben while I'm working. That works out well for all of us. Abbey will have someone to care for her all the time. I'm not worried about starting a new job. Maybe this time, I can stay in the same place till I retire.
Health care is changing in this country, and not for the better. Today, 12,000 nurses in Minnesota went out on a one day strike. Their request is simple: They want better staffing to improve patient safety and they want their retirement benefits protected. Not much to ask. I was amazed at the number of negative comments left at USA Today. Negative toward nurses. Comments about how nurses live in $500,000 houses, drive $100,000 cars, and make $80,000 per year irk me. Comments about how nursing assistants do "all the work" annoy me, too. I live in a $60,000 house. I drive a Jeep with nearly 90,000 miles on it. It surely didn't cost $100K. And the $80K/year figure is an average! Most bedside nurses make far less than that. Nursing assistants on the unit where I work are a luxury. It is the nurses' responsibility to bathe, feed, potty, medicate, assess, and otherwise care for their assigned five patients. Time can be a real problem. It is expected that all nurses document activities (turns, medications, assessments, treatments, etc) within one hour. There are nights when I can't document anything before 4am! I'm just too busy! When reimbursements are cut to hospitals, or when hospitals have financial strains, the first cuts are made at the bedside. Nurses go first. We are viewed as expendable. That's why the temporary housing benefit was cut. An experienced RN is worth the CEO's weight in gold! Unfortunately, when we demand appropriate compensation for what we do and appropriate staffing levels to provide the quality of care that our patients deserve, we are vilified. None of us took a vow of poverty when we made the choice to do this really gross work. Most of the people who post the ugly comments about us have no idea what we really do. I suggest that those who find it so easy to fault us walk a shift in our clogs. Then, you might see where we're coming from!

Boots

Boots crossed the rainbow bridge today. Selina and Chessie were on the other side to meet him. He was not our first Boots. The first Boots was about 7 years old when he died from antifreeze poisoning (nasty neighbor!). Not long after we lost Boots I, Catie came home from school and announced that her friend Carol's cat had a litter of kittens. She looked very solemn as she explained that, if Carol didn't find homes for the kittens, her dad would take them out to the woods and shoot them. While I doubted that Carol's dad would ever shoot a kitten, I agreed to go and look at them.
The kittens were in a box in the garage. One of them was black and white with a half moustache, just like Boots I. I told Carol that we would take that kitten when he was ready to leave his mom. Not long after that, Boots II came to live with us. He bonded closest with Chris. When we left Charlotte, Boots stayed with Chris. As he matured, Boots gained weight. Chris nicknamed him Tubby. Tubby loved three things: Chris, naps, and canned food. When he heard the top of a can of cat food pop, he was first in line! Probably why he was called Tubby! When Chris moved in with us, Tubby came along.
Tubby had some jealousy issues with the other cats in the house. He began thinking outside of the box. Literally. He would go to the cat box, then poop right beside it. We tried to correct this bad behavior, but Tubs was stubborn. He had to live in the basement. He got along well with the basement cats. He also got all the canned food he could eat.
Over the last month, Tubby started losing weight at a frightening rate. He didn't run when canned food was opened. He was pooping outside the box again. Yucky smelling loose poo. He had trouble getting up and down the stairs. His coat became dull, as did his eyes. Last night, Chris said his final good by to his old friend Tubby. This morning, I took Tubs for the long ride. When I started the car "Tears in Heaven" was playing on the radio. Boots was too weak to protest riding in the car, something he has always hated. He only weighed four pounds, down from his usual ten pounds. I held him as the vet gave him the injection that would end his misery. Gradually, his eyes closed and his head slipped off of my arm. I petted him for a long time. I cried. As I walked out of the vet's office, it started to rain.

Jury duty lesson

I was subpoenaed to be on jury duty for "the April term". The April term runs from April 1 to July 31. I call in when instructed to do so, then report to court if necessary. I had to show up at court on Tuesday.
I was seated on a jury for a "distributing a controlled substance" trial.
The police presented their evidence, and it was convincing. At first. The state forensic investigator who presented the toxicology information was very interesting. After her testimony, we took a lunch break. After the break, the state's "confidential informant" testified. This fellow was entertaining enough to keep everyone in the courtroom from taking an afternoon nap! He was neatly dressed in a brown suit and tie and looked as if he knew what soap and water were. This was a stark contrast to the defendant, who wore the same rumpled jeans and green tee shirt both days. The CI started out by explaining that he went to the police and offered his assistance to arrest the defendant. He had no quarrel with the guy, he said that drugs had ruined his life and he didn't want anyone else's life ruined by drugs. Kind of a community service. He described the officers who searched him before and after the buy as "machines". They gave him the best searches he'd ever had (giggles from the jury). He talked about how the price of narcotics is determined (about a dollar per mg), but that "since a certain doctor closed up shop and got sent to jail" the price had gone up (more jury giggles). When the defense lawyer questioned CI, it got nearly hostile, but still amusing. I think each was trying to confuse the other. CI's health history, drug history and an arrest for DUI last fall were all discussed. Even though they weren't really relevant to this case. Lawyer would ask a question, CI would answer, then Lawyer would rephrase the question. CI would then answer in an exasperated tone, "I just told you.......". Even the judge was laughing!
During the trial, a young lady was kicked out of the courtroom because she kept saying"He's a liar" as the CI was testifying. A young man was nearly kicked out because his phone rang, very distracting.
The second day of the trial, the defense presented one witness. The defendant did not testify. That's probably what saved him! After lunch, we began deliberating. The Deputy told us about another trial where the jury got into a heated debate that lasted about two hours. When asked if they needed to review any evidence to calm the situation down, the jurors said that they hadn't even started discussing the evidence, yet. They were still trying to select a foreman! Our foreman volunteered! Even though we were in unanimous agreement that the defendant was guilty, we couldn't convict him with the evidence we had. Much as we wanted to keep this guy from selling one more pill, we couldn't do it. Why? Because the evidence that the state presented, especially the CI, left reasonable doubt. By not having a reputable person to witness the buy, we could not trust the CI's testimony. He had difficulty remembering some of the events of one buy, even though he said that he reviewed his notes the night before. Sadly, the defendant was acquitted and is now free to sell whatever he wants to whomever he wants.
Hooray for our legal system!

Having it all

For many years, women have been told they can/can't have it all. There are several questions that go along with this statement: What is "it all", why do we want it, and why don't men seem to worry about it?
From what I've seen and heard, "it" is career and family. Men have balanced these two things for centuries. Whether they've done it well is still up for debate. They work and, traditionally, come home to a clean house, delicious dinner, and well behaved kids, all courtesy of an adoring wife. Over the last forty or so years, tradition has been turned on its ear. Women have entered the workforce and the family has become dependent on two incomes to survive. Staying home with the children has become a luxury. Sometimes it's dad who stays home because mom makes more money.
Why do we want a career and a family? I was raised to believe that I should not depend on anyone to support me. This stems from my mother's upbringing. My grandfather died three months before she was born. My grandmother, a "feriner" from Ireland, had no marketable skills. She raised four children during the Depression by doing laundry. Ma went to secretarial school, as did many of her peers, and was able to support herself before Pop came along. I can't remember a time when I was growing up that Ma didn't work. She had "it" before women were aware that they wanted "it". She did a fantastic job raising independent daughters. My sister, Kathy, became a teacher and I became a nurse. No female nuclear physicist or engineer from her genes! So having a career, a way to support oneself, is something that everyone should do.
Having a family is one of the biggest joys, and stressors, that a couple can share. Each age brings different experiences. Women face pressure to stay at home and to return to the workforce. If we decide to stay at home, we "couldn't hack it" in the business world. To the contrary, we learn to manage a budget (do more with less), manage time(clean when the baby naps), manage crises(10 pm: "Mom, I need 5 dozen cupcakes tomorrow!"), and negotiate (brother gets swing for 30 minutes, then sister gets it). If we return to the workforce, we face the guilt of "abandoning" our children. Even though children learn valuable social skills in a quality day care, it's hard to leave them. I hated doing it! In the long run, it did my kids more good than harm.
Unfortunately, women get the bulk of the housework whether we have a job or not! I know several women whose husbands are stay at home dads. These women still cook dinner, clean bathrooms, and do laundry. What does dad do all day? Why do these women still do housework?
Dave and I have shared chores for years. It has been a necessity. I'm not going to work and then put in another 12 hours at home! He cleans up out of self defense! He is a fabulous cook. Now that I'm working full time and he's retired, he does the bulk of the housework. While he and I have a different perception of "clean", I will not often criticize. I do that out of self defense!
"Having it all" has never seemed to matter to men. It shouldn't matter to us, either. When it comes right down to it, I think you have it all if you are content. To work or stay home, to have children or not is totally up to the individual.